4th of July
by FoamytheFoambender
Summary: Alfred invites Arthur to his birthday every single time. He always says no. He always shows up. Apologies for the super late 4th of July fic.


Arthur fell back into the waist deep mud as Alfred held the musket an inch from his nose. He felt the rain soak his coat and the mud fill his boots. His musket was lying several feet away from him. Surely Alfred's gun powder must be soaked and useless by now? He had to be bluffing. There's no way he would shoot. Would he?

Arthur saw his lips moving but couldn't bring himself to listen anymore. All he could talk about was his damn independence. He was tired of all this stupid fighting in woods and freezing his ass off in the middle of the winter for this stupid ungrateful punk. Just sick and tired and he didn't want to care anymore so he'd show Alfred just how worthless and spineless he was.

"Shoot damn it!" he growled clenching his fists in the mud.

Alfred's face turned into a blank mask. Completely emotionless and detached. Arthur knew that face well. It was the face of a man about to deliver a final blow. He closed his eyes as Alfred raised the musket. Even from behind his eyelids he saw the light of the gun powder igniting. He felt the bullet tear through his chest and thought "I guess he really does have some guts", as he fell back onto the mud as the rain continued pouring…

Arthur woke up gasping and sweating on the floor next to his bed. He pressed his hand to his chest while he felt his heart trying to escape through his throat. He rested his head against the side of the bed as he let himself calm down.

He glanced at the site of his bed and sighed. The clock said it was 4:15 in the morning. July 4th. He did the math in his head. He had been asleep for roughly an hour and twenty minutes since he had finished up the last few piles of paper.

He hated this day. He always got nightmares and headaches and a whole pile of crappy feelings around this entire week. It's a miracle he hadn't died from this by now.

Quite frankly he hadn't slept well in months and it only got worse around these days. He pulled himself back into bed and stared at the ceiling. All these damn meetings were going to kill him. All he wanted to do was just kick everyone out of his house and sleep. He closed his eyes warily and waited for sleep to come…

He was lying on the ground again and the rain had soaked and chilled him to the bone. His blood blended with his torn coat as it flowed from his chest. He could hear the American troops cheering as Alfred gave a rousing speech about their newly gained freedom. He felt everything growing dark as he weakly reached for Alfred's turned back as he walked away with his troops…

Arthur stared at the ceiling with an extremely irritated and angry look clouding his face. The clock informed him that his subconscious had decided that he only deserved to sleep for another forty five minutes. There was no use trying to get back to sleep anymore. He reluctantly got out of bed and made his way into his bathroom.

He flinched as the lights turned on and let his eyes adjust to the blindness. His head was killing him, his eyes were burning and his throat was sore. He splashed his face with water and nearly yelped at the iciness of it. He yelled after stupidly trying to kick a pipe, and instead busted his knee against the side of the sink.

Twenty minutes later he had limped his way into his living room with a cup of tea. He sat staring straight at the front door the cup set on the table. It would happen any second now. He knew this because it happened the exact same way every single year without exception or alternation in any way shape or form. In exactly 3…2…1…

Arthur didn't even flinch as his door slammed open as Alfred burst through laughing and yelling. He paraded around his living room, waving his ridiculously large flag around. Nothing fell off the shelves because he had recently secured everything to its spot with nails, duct tape and crazy glue. Alfred stood on top of his table singing any patriotic song that popped into his head, culminating with a stunning, stirring falsetto rendition of Yankee Doodle that would have left any sane composer in tears.

After several minutes of this, he paused gasping for breath on top of the table.

"I told you eating so much junk food would kill your stamina." Arthur muttered

Alfred, being his usual self decided to completely ignore that comment.

"So here's your invitation Arthur!" he said

Arthur gave Alfred the strongest death glare he could muster. In his current sleep deprived state all he managed to do was look cross eyed.

"Wow Arthur! You sort of look like shit today!"

"Really? I can't seem to imagine why!" he growled

Alfred sighed. "Come on just join the party! Everyone is going to be there! I'll even ban Francis from coming if you come!

Arthur scoffed, grabbed his cup of tea and made his way to the kitchen. It was a testament to how long Alfred's little show took that he wasn't even limping anymore.

"As if that would stop him. He'd probably show up buck naked and drunk just to piss me off."

"Let's just drop it okay? We've been through this 200 times and I-"

"233."

"Shut up. We've been going over this since your first party in 1777. I am NOT going to a party to celebrate the day you whopped my ass you insensitive jerk!"

"Then just think of it as my birthday instead!"

"Which roughly translates to 'The Day I Whopped Your Ass.' It's the same thing idiot!"

"Come on! China even brought fireworks and everything!"

At this point it just sounded like Alfred was a wounded puppy begging. Arthur was more of a cat person.

"There's going to be a tea ceremony specifically done by Kiku."

Then again, Arthur also loved his tea.

"Fine."

And with that, Alfred left the house, dragging along any semblance of sanity that might have been left behind for poor Arthur.

Now at this point you must be guessing that the next 50% of the plot is going to be spent on Arthur desperately searching for a last second birthday present for Alfred. However you must remember that this has happened 232 times in a row. By around the 178th time, he figured out that planning for a miserable and lonely day with only horribly depressing music, several gallons of Rocky Road ice cream, a copy of The Good the Bad and The Ugly (ironically, pretty damn American what with the cowboys and the like) and only his covers would only end in a mad dash to find some stupid gift for the ungrateful git.

He had the gift nicely wrapped and under his couch for the past 3 months.

Arthur stepped onto the front porch as a bullet shattered a nearby window and embedded itself into the trunk of a nearby tree. Inside he could hear Vash yelling bloody murder while he could just barely hear Feliciano begging for mercy. He was about to grab the door's handle before the door burst open and Toris ran out. Hot on his heels was Feliks and a hot pink miniskirt.

"LIKE COME BACK HERE AND TRY THIS ON OR YOUR CAPITAL WILL TOTALLY BECOME WARSAW LIKE TO THE MAX."

Arthur walked inside and placed the present on a large table next to the door. He noticed Francis had gotten him something, and was vaguely afraid of its irregularly cylindrical shape. He spotted a large couch by a far wall which was occupied by the only people with brains in the entire party.

Kiku was sitting next to Heracles, who had unsurprisingly fallen asleep on his lap. By the looks of things, Kiku's legs had fallen asleep a good couple of hours ago.

Arthur sat onto the couch holding a large mug of beer. He nodded at Kiku who seemed to be desperate to get Heracles to move without him being rude.

"Wake him up?" Arthur asked.

Kiku nodded his head vigorously.

Alfred poked his side.

"Hey Heracles! Wake up!"

Heracles opened his eyes dreamily.

"Hello Arthur…"

Kiku turned his distressed face away from the conversation. Heracles had failed to remove his head from his lap. He was fairly certain that he'd never be able to use his legs again.

"Ah… uh… oh I know! Here why don't you try some of this beer Heracles? Ludwig brought it all the way from his house!"

"I don't drink… but thank you."

Kiku clenched his fist against the side of the sofa.

"Uh… I heard there was some good food over there!"

"I like to eat later in the party…"

Kiku dropped his face into his arm.

"Oh! Is that Sadiq?"

Heracles sprinted from the seat at once in the general direction pointed out by Arthur's finger.

Arthur looked at Kiku who was muttering something into his arm as he flexed his feet. It sounded suspiciously like "Pins and needles, pins and needles, oh Amaterasu pins and needles!"

A large bang sounded off towards one of the back rooms and smoke began to seep out from under a door. Said door slammed open and Wang fell out, coughing onto the floor.

"Aiyah! Alfred come look after your own damn fireworks aru!"

"Because I'm the hero right?" he yelled loudly.

Wang dusted the soot off his face and closed the door again.

"Forget it aru."

The front door burst open again and Toris ran through and jumped through an open window in the back.

"LIKE WARSAW! I'M TOTALLY SERIOUS LIET COME ON!"

Feliks threw himself out the same window with the miniskirt tied around his neck.

It seemed that everyone had lost the ability to open a door normally.

Arthur took another sip of his beer as Gilbert came flying across the room, flipped over the back of the couch, and landed in the space between the couch and the wall. Arthur gently moved Gilbert's leg to the left, as it had been touching the back of his head, and he didn't want to get his hair dirty.

From the depths of the backside of the seat he heard Gilbert laugh weakly.

"Kneel at my awesomeness…"

Across the room, Elizaveta worked the dent out of the backside of her frying pan. It had an indentation frighteningly similar to Gilbert's face. Roderich himself had turned several shades paler at

the sight of the pan.

A shot rang out in the room and a pot in a far corner shattered. Feliciano ran past first wailing as loudly as he could.

"I'll do anything, don't shoot me! Ludwig, Ludwig help me!"

Vash followed close behind waving his shotgun in the air.

"Don't you ever go naked near my house again or else you won't have a leg to run on damn it!"

Ludwig rubbed his temples with an irritated look on his face before putting his drink on the table and running after the both of them.

Kiku and Arthur scooted the sofa back as he passed by, causing Gilbert to groan from the wall behind them. Alfred, apparently oblivious to the mass chaos caused by his party appeared in the center of the room and clapped his hands.

"Okay everyone! It's time for presents!"

The presents were fairly predictable although quite nice when you got down to it.

Kiku had gotten a hold of a new Mortal Kombat game that wouldn't be out on the market for at least another 6 months. Ludwig had gotten him a brand new car, per tradition. Francis' gift was also per tradition, and you can interpret that any way you wish.

Finally, Alfred picked up Arthur's gift and shook it slightly.

"At least it's not underwear this time!"

Arthur said nothing. He stood up and made his way out of the house onto the porch.

Toris ran past him again panting and gasping for breath, his face a deep shade of red.

"DOES LIKE, WARSAW MEAN NOTHING TO YOU?!"

Arthur shook his head as Feliks ran after him, the skirt now wrapped around his waist over his pants. He tripped on the bottom step and fell face first onto the porch.

"NOT COOL! I BROKE A NAIL LEIT! THIS SUCKS LIKE SOOOO HARD! I HOPE WARSAW BECOMES YOUR CAPITAL FOR LIKE INFINITY PLUS ONE YEARS YOU MEANIE!"

Arthur stared at Feliks.

"What are you, like looking at damn it? I'll make your capital Warsaw too you know."

The door opened again as Toris flew out again, sweat pouring down his face. Ivan followed him laughing lightly.

"Come on Toris! All I want is to see is your troubled face!"

Arthur sighed and sat on the porch after Feliks had taken off after the both of them. Gradually the night wore on and people stumbled out of the door on their way home. Ludwig walked out with Gilbert twisted like a pretzel over his shoulder, and was dragging Feliciano by the single strand of curled hair which seemed to have an interesting effect on him, namely, getting him to shut up. He also looked extremely flustered, but that was something else altogether which Arthur preferred to not get involved in.

By the time midnight hit and the party really hit its stride (which made no sense to Arthur because the party had started at 2 in the afternoon and a part that only hit its stride after 10 hours was in fact a rather nonsensical thing) Arthur had consumed 5 different types of alcoholic drinks and had a fallen asleep on the front porch. He was woken up by someone vigorously shaking his shoulder.

Alfred sat on the porch next to him and lifted the box with Arthur's present.

"You know, that was a pretty cool gift you got me. Even if you probably don't like it yourself."

Alfred was holding up a feathered headdress that he remembered pretty damn well.

"I wore this during the Boston Tea Party right? And the old teabags in the box look like they were fished right out of the harbor."

Arthur just nodded his head and looked into the yard. Alfred moved up and sat closer to Arthur.

"Come on the fireworks are starting in a few minutes you know. Let's go."

Arthur muttered something faintly and turned his head away.

"What?"

"I said, just because I raised taxes a little doesn't mean you have to throw the whole damn shipment in the harbor."

Alfred scratched his head thoughtfully.

"Well uh… you know how it is. You had the whole damn stamp act stuff going on and you wouldn't let us trade with any other country… so then we had to pay loads of taxes for no reason… so we king of just got fed up and protested."

"Yeah well come on. It was an entire shipment though!"

"I'm guessing you think I went a little overboard huh?"

Alfred laughed at his joke and looked at Arthur.

"I refuse to laugh at that poor excuse for a joke." He said bitterly.

Wang rounded the corner of the house holding several bottle rockets and a long match precariously close to the fuses.

"Alfred, Arthur! Let's go I'm going to start with the fireworks and you're going to miss it aru!"

Alfred stood up and grinned.

"Well let's go! Everyone knows the hero has to start off the fireworks!"

Arthur rolled his eyes and followed him to the back yard.

The fireworks were extravagant to say the very least. Wang had really come through for him at the end, even after he had set half of his arm on fire. Even Arthur had to admit that they were really beautiful.

"So do you like my birthday yet?" Alfred asked, shoving his elbow into Arthur's side.

Arthur sighed and stared at him.

"Alfred. Whenever you celebrate your birthday, you manage to shut down your country for an entire day. You start parades, barbeques, fireworks, and for god knows what reason, some crazy hot dog eating competition. People get plastered and it's okay. Women dress as skimpily as possible. People invade beaches for hours until they're cooked well done. It is probably one of the greatest parties ever thought of ever. Alfred, I _hate _your goddamned birthday."

Alfred edged in closer and gave him a small peck on the lips, lingering slightly and smiling at the way Arthur's face immediately flushed deep red.

"Do you like my birthday now?"

Arthur turned and began to walk away. He paused and clenched his fists.

"Maybe."


End file.
